Life Is Hard, and Perimenopause Doesn’t Help

Life is hard. Perimenopause doesn’t show up at a convenient time. Most of us are stuck in this “sandwich era”—raising kids while, for some, also caring for aging parents (thankfully, I’m not there yet). It feels a bit unfair.

As of last Monday, I’m officially homeschooling my neurodivergent 12-year-old. And why, you ask, would I homeschool after swearing I’d never do it again post-COVID? Because middle school can be a cruel, brutal place and right now, my son doesn’t have the tools to handle that nonsense while trying to learn. Ironically, some of this is due to our time in our Los Angeles COVID lockdown, where my kids missed out on socially formative years. Yes, I counted: exactly 518 days at home with me. But I digress.

So, after trying (and failing) to make school work and researching alternatives, the decision was made to homeschool. Just like that time I swore I’d never run a marathon, I’ve learned that my mantra, “never say never,” continues to haunt me.

Now, it feels like COVID all over again—only this time it’s just one kid (my 10-year-old is still attending a traditional school) and our house is three times bigger. But let’s be real, we’re living in Colorado now, where I didn’t need a small fortune to afford the extra square footage. The upside? I’m allowed to leave the house this time. The downside? My son is never inclined to leave. Not even the amazingness of an Imagine Dragons concert or watching Shohei Ohtani hit his 54th home run could coax him out or even make him happy when he is out. So, until we find programs or activities to help us both get out of the house more (suggestions are welcome!), either I or my husband is stuck at home with him, navigating the homeschooling adventure.

Homeschooling + Perimenopause = Chaos

Why am I sharing this? Because it feels ridiculously unfair that I’m now juggling homeschooling and managing a myriad of perimenopause symptoms at the same time. Please send help—especially for my husband and kids, because survival, particularly for my 12-year-old, is questionable since he’s here all day. Every. Day.

Honestly, I’m struggling just to hold myself together, let alone be there for him. Perimenopause, with all its lovely mood swings, fatigue, and physical changes, makes it hard enough to manage my own life—much less my kid’s.

So, this is just the start of what I’m calling the Perimenopause Survival Series. Over the next six weeks, I’ll be diving deeper into the chaos of this phase of life—raising kids, managing family dynamics, and trying not to lose ourselves while doing it. If you’re navigating this tricky phase too, I hope my stories and strategies will resonate with you.

Taking Care of Ourselves Matters

So… how are we supposed to handle all of this? Between raising kids, managing careers, and now this rollercoaster of hormones, who thought it was a good idea to throw all this at us at once?

But here’s what I’ve learned: it’s okay to admit we’re overwhelmed. Everyone goes through phases where things feel “off,” both physically and mentally. While my “bad” days now aren’t as unhealthy as they used to be, they’re still tough.

That’s why taking care of ourselves is so important. If we’re not nourishing our bodies and giving ourselves mental and physical “playtime,” how can we expect to show up for the people we love? Our bodies are changing in this phase, and we need to adjust if we want to keep our sanity. It doesn’t have to be a huge overhaul—just small, intentional changes that help us feel a little better each day. Because when we take care of ourselves, we’re also taking care of everyone else in our lives.

And here’s the kicker: just because I know all the health and wellness stuff doesn’t mean I’m perfect at practicing it. No one is. And if someone claims they are, they’re probably lying. My ability to maintain my own health? It comes and goes in waves, just like everything else in life. But I do have the knowledge, and now it’s time to implement it.

So follow along over the next few weeks as I share my tips, tricks, and plenty of real-life stories on how to survive homeschooling, perimenopause, and all the chaos in between!